install theme

urbanfuck:

urbanfuck:

urbanfuck:

anal sneezes are cute as shit

sorry iphone the word i was looking for was “animal” sneezes better luck next time

image

this is not what i want to be remembered for

  • 15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
  • me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance

cumber-bitches:

"NO MUM GET OUT MY ROOM. NO. I KNOW THAT BOTTLE IS EMPTY. YES I KNOW. NOOO! PUT IT DOWN. PUT. IT. DOWN. I LIKE THAT BOTTLE THERE. I DON’T CARE THAT IT’S EMPTY. LEAVE MY ROOM PLEASE. NO STOP TOUCHING STUFF. OH MY GOD JUST LEEEAVVVVEEEEE."